Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
