is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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