ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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