Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize