My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
