He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
