i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
