I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
