Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
