wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
soo... how was my night?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
