so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
