i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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