That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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