I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
