5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
