Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
