I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
