On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you would pick up someone in the library
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
