Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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