i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
organizing the empties. That sober.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
