I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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