found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize