If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
