Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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