isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
