ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
