I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
