someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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