My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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