hell yes lets make some ravioli
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize