God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No stitches, just platelets and will power
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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