I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
