you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize