wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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