your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
