that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
