She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize