What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
