i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
