Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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