She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
