Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
