I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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