fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I have fence marks all over my body
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
