i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
