The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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