i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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