we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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