i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize