John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
