I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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