she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
