she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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