I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
