rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
