We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
