I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
