pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
