Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
