Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
