i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
